|Posted by BGF FitnessSite on July 7, 2017 at 3:45 PM|
Facing Self-Sabotage and Limiting Beliefs
You are your worst enemy. In fact, you are your only potential enemy, and the only being with the power to decide when and how you expand.
What do you feel in your body upon reading these statements, and where do you feel it? Does your mind perceive these declarations to be true or false?
Honestly, my response would depend on the day, because the stay centered and own your sh*t struggle is real. There are times when I’d prefer to be a victim, and I’ve spent a good majority of my life residing there. Only a victim, for many years; emotionally and chemically addicted to falling short, feeling unwanted, and whatever life situation that could bring the pain. Not just physical pain, but emotional pain, dis-ease, and dis-peace. I was unaware.
Enter self-sabotage. Sometimes presenting loud and clear in the form of say cutting, alcohol or drug abuse, ignoring your gut instincts, or recreating abusive relationships. Sometimes moving under a cloak of deception as an internal voice, so loud we recognize it as our own, delivering a constant stream of hateful messages to your psyche.
Somewhere in life, we learn that being a victim is standard and rewarding. Our mothers and fathers comforting us, or perhaps they didn’t offer comfort at all. Family members telling us that we have every right to be disturbed with a particular situation or that our vantage point is invalid. Bedtimes stories about the damsel in distress, and how we might live happily ever after if someone – the perfect someone – would come along and save us from it all. In most cases, it’s deeper than this, but these examples convey the idea.
“They originate in childhood through the infant and child perspective. To grow and develop into a functional adult, regardless of the family of origin, a child must endure what the child perceives as an excruciating sense of being controlled, deprived and rejected.”
“…Given where the child comes from (the womb) these common occurrences are experienced negatively, thus the child’s tantrums and anger. Being raised in a dysfunctional family, with parents who are less than loving and attentive, only exacerbates the child’s problem (often extensively). Various forms of common abuse, authoritarian parenting, neglect and plain horrible parenting just intensify the child’s situation” Read more HERE.
Chemical pathways align with the mental and physical patterns we learn/create, and from there, we’re drawn towards recreating childhood pain on every level – mental, physical, and metaphysical. Self-sabotage is a constant struggle for many; so common that we’ve come to consider it as a part of the human experience, a rite of passage or means of travel to consciousness, and perhaps it is, but the point is not to live there. Also, bear in mind just because something is normal or common, does not mean that it is part of our original state or truth.
Bizzie Gold once said (and I quote her loosely), “Most of you have been letting a five-year-old child (your younger self) run your adult lives.” I mean think about it, when was the last time you checked in with the thought patterns and beliefs you formed as a child and determined if they were still “true” or “applicable” in the present? Our bodies grew, but our minds did not, which brings me to one of my favorite quotes…
“So many broken children living in grown bodies mimicking adult lives.” - Ijeoma Umebinyuo
According to Bundrant, the following are indicators of psychological attachments and a requisite to do work in this arena…
You have a critical inner voice that keeps you feeling bad.
You have negative feelings and behaviors that you cannot consciously control.
You sabotage yourself.
You do things that you know aren’t good for you.
You attract unhealthy people into your life and keep them there.
You know what you need to do, but can’t get yourself to do it.
You resist change.
You make excuses to stay the way you are, even though you’re unhappy.
You have self-destructive tendencies.
You are sick and tired of living the way you live, but keep on living that way.
You unwittingly set yourself up for failure.
Over the past few years, I’ve noticed this recurring message in my life. A call to identify behavior patterns learned during my childhood and to reframe or release them as needed. This work is vital in living empowered lives and in strengthening our ability to CHOOSE that which nourishes us.
Sound yummy? I’ve put together a list of resources I’ve used in the past few years to transmute and move forward. I hope you’ll visit them and continue to expand one meal, one movement, and one meditation at a time.
Categories: Fitness + Motivational